my mum does this thing where she comes into my room and stares around for 10 seconds then…

mum: why are there clothes on the floor

mum: why is there a cup there

mum: and a bowl

mum: 2 CUPS AND A BOWL

mum: i dont want you to eat in your room any more

mum: is that dirty washing

mum: THROW YOUR RUBBISH IN THE BIN

mum: i just ironed those and you’ve thrown them on the floor

mum: why have your done your makeup like that you look half-dead

mum: have you done any coursework today

mum: did you brush your teeth

mum: are you going to have a shower before you go to bed

mum: did you do anything at all today

mum: why didn’t you get dressed

mum: oh so you did get dressed and you’re just sitting in bed in your clothes that i ironed this morning

mum: when i was your age i did my own ironing

mum: why are you so lazy

me: did you come in here for anything in particular or

mum: WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A BAD MOOD? WHAT DID I DO? DON’T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT